I’ve been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I’m sorry for that.
what if they told you that people will eventually grow apart? will you ask for a reason to make it make sense like you always do? what if i told you that it’s never not impossible for us to be in it? what if we unintentionally hurt each other and neither of us tell? have i ever said sorry to you, love? do you feel my fondness towards you?
what do you think about when you think about the life of your dream? a home with garden? a dog you once told your mother that you wanted to raise when you were five? do you see a pair of my shoes beside yours?
I’ll always love you cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I’m grateful for that.
i love how theodore said,
“growing without growing apart, or changing without scaring the other person.”
i love how we try to live up to that. i love how you give me space to understand myself better. i love you. i love how you said not to get bitter over myself because if you were me, you won’t. i love how you helped me watering myself.
i love to watch you eat. i love the way you passionately tell me each one of the ingredients within your plate. i love how you ask and save the last bite for me. i love you. i want to keep on loving you. so if, ever, you don’t feel like sharing a table with me or the taste between your lips, please write me a piece.
Whatever someone you become, and whatever you are in the world, I’m sending you love. You’re my friend to the end.
somewhere along the way, we’ll find home. we’ll have more than enough and we don’t have to say, i hope everything works out on your end. we’ll grow without growing apart. we’ll try to live up to that. we will.
love,
N.
Dear Catherine letter by Theodore in HER (2013)
